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The Trials, the Suffering, the Visions, the Great Revelation, the Five Days in LA Now, for somehow I do NOT find hot at all. I swear I will vomit if David Duchovny plays Superman. -_-;;;; He was okay in X-Files but I find him rather annoying and he's annoying as a person, too. Oh, and he totally does NOT look anything like the Man of Steel. I say bring back Dean Cain or something. Here's the bit on the film. Mind you, it's just a rumor, so no need to freak out yet. Can you tell I like Coming Attractions? ^_- Ahh, well, LA sucked. I went no place and had no fun. And it was sucky. Then we left and my dad promised to take me to a few stores on the way back and it got suckier. 'Cause he was in one of his moods. So I'm not speaking right now. To anybody but my mother who stayed behind to take care of some things. They bought a house. I haven't been inside it. There was really no reason for me to go to LA at all. I wish I hadn't. *SIGH* I *did* have two freaky dreams though, one of which I wrote down and will transcribe later and the other which I still vaguely remember and will probably write about too. Prolly not in this post, though. And Merritt snuck her way into the first one. O_o;;; Oh, btw, the reason I'm doing my mute act right now is because I really had no alternative. It was either that or hack viciously at my hair. And since I was in a car for six hours with no scissors, I took choice b). I was also going to go on a hunger strike, but I decided not to at the last minute because it's really impossible to argue about not eating when you're not speaking. ^^;;;; Ah, and I know that B would say that the silent treatment is a very bad thing and I shouldn't do it, but pbbbbbbbbt! to that. When given the choice between self-destructive tendencies/physical violence and self-imposed muteness, I'll choose the latter, thank you very much. Hmmmm, I also love Roark very much. LOL. Oh, and Sherlock Holmes is disturbing me a great deal. Holmes! Go to rehab, fer crying out loud! Oh, and while at a bookstore I came across a book containing 12 Sherlock Holmes stories that were apparently never published in book format before and one of the stories shows that Watson was unfaithful to Mrs. Watson #1? O_o;;; I didn't buy the book, but I might look for it later. Oh, I want to read Robin McKinley books now. I've only ever read "Beauty" which I own, btw, and at the bookstore I was suddenly bitten with the "I need to expand my fantasy reading horizons since the only thing I read is McCaffrey . . ." bug. And I saw "Spindle's End" and wanted to read it. I do love a good take on a fairytale. Oh, and since I was in a store in a place where no one knows me, I wandered down to the YA section and saw a book titled "Spinners" (based on the Rumplestiltskin story) and flipped it open to one page. Read a little, blinked, and bewailed the fact that I'm *coughcough* too old to be reading this *coughhackcough*. It was very simple, but the writing style was very likable. *SIGH* My library sucks. I'm going to be able to find nothing. I bet they don't even carry McKinley books. I think they only have ONE copy of BJD and BJD:TEOR and I'm going INSANE because they're always checked out! Fact: I own more Anne McCaffrey books than this library. ^^;;;;; I think the Sherlock Holmes book I'm reading was printed in 1935. Okay, enough griping on that account. A GOOD thing did come of this trip. And no, it was not fanfics. When your life-force is being drained from you, you, too, might find it hard to write anything. I did attempt it, but I ended up with Minako and Kenneth talking in Rand-speak. O_o;;; It was _REALLY_ bad. Anyways, the good thing was this: Even though I'm still obsessing, somehow, magically, I managed to come to terms with my unresolved, no-closure, non-existent, heart-rending unlove-affair from high school. *BLINKS* And I thought it would never happen. But it seems that I can think about him without going into a total depressed funk and thinking about the "good times" actually makes me smile. I think it was the dream that did it. Or the really freaky image of him sitting atop the bleachers. Or maybe I've just been too tired lately? I dunno. I also realized that it's weird but having gotten completely 100% over my latest unrequited infatuation for some months now, I don't even want to obsess about him, I just go back to high school infatuation. Which is not to say that my feelings were any less towards college-infatuation . . . I really think the reason the whole high school thing stuck to me was because I had no closure. There's still no closure. But I'm at peace with it now, for awhile, anyway. Ahhh. I miss East Coast clouds. That's what I was thinking about for at least two of the six hours in the car today. California clouds are either wispy, formless things or huge, sky-covering masses of overcast doom. No inbetween. I miss clouds that I can look at and see things in. *Sigh* I am SOOOOOO moving back to the East Coast ASAP. Read this in Sakki-danna's blog. I really *must* meet/communicate with this person and assorted other people. I need more people to hang out with and cackle about anime with while at school other than just Gina (seeing as I very rarely even *see* Gina and no one else comprehends my love of this particular Japanese artform to a great enough degree). Of course, Sakki-danna has a hate-love relationship with Berkeley while I have a love-despair one so I dunno how well we'd get along. But she likes Syaoran at least *snicker* so I think we should get along in one respect, at least. Oooh, and Onee-chan, please don't be scared off by the above article! You'll be coming for GRAD school if you come, after all. And I know at least one comp prof is pretty cool . . . (Hmmm, didn't help my *grade* any, but still . . .) -_-;;;; Oh, yes. I have to finish picking classes. Dammit! BTW, I *enjoy* hiding amidst a crowd of inferior beings. I'm not the kind that enjoys unwanted attention. And dangit if I don't wanna have to talk to profs who KNOW I've been sleeping through their lectures because I oh-so-smartly manage to sit right in their line of sight. ^^;;;; And I don't MEAN to sleep . . . but if you can't get to sleep until 3 in the morning, you find yourself dozing when confronted with droning voices and darkened lecture halls, ne? I'm really not an unmotivated slob! Really!! Of course, the lack of advisors, help, and billions of impacted classes aren't exactly my idea of a good time by any means . . . ^^;;; Okay, I went off again. ^^;;; BAD ME! Bad! And I don't think I've really talked about all my suffering in LA, but I'm sure you don't want to hear it and I certainly don't feel like talking about it (readers: Thank God!). I chomped on a melon at Thursday, July 5, 2001 01:06 a.m.
Birthday Blues I knew I was presuming a bit much to have B get it signed for me, but still . . . I spent $26 on the effing thing! And while a book by Neil Gaiman is a nice thing to have, I haven't any money! I would have waited for the paperback if I was going to buy it . . . or maybe just borrowed it from the library? The whole point was to get it signed. *Sigh* Okay, so I'm being a bit childish about this and it's only an author's signature . . . But for me, an author's signature is a very precious thing. It's the mark of someone who creates and it would mean a lot to me because since I aspire to be someone who creates and can write things that I like and have other people like them, I could look at it and think, "Hey, he signed this and it's mine!" It's kind of a feeling of awe I guess. I don't know. I would just be happier now. I would have loved to have gone myself, but I couldn't, and I would have liked to have my book signed, but it wasn't, and that's that. Damn it. Life is so unfair. And I know lots of people are worse off and don't have lovely things like books signed by Neil Gaiman . . . or food, or money . . . but darnit, it would've been nice. It annoys me, though. B called just a few minutes ago to wish me "Happy Birthday," didn't even mention that he didn't get the book signed until I, all happy and genki, brought it up, and only *then* did he talk about it. If I was him I would've called yesterday to let me know at least. :( And then he has the gall, the gall to ask me what I wanted for my birthday? Well, let's think. *SIGH* No use getting worked up over it. And yes, he did wait for an hour, and yes, Gaiman was reading for a long time and there were a lot of people. But answer me this, if lots of people left the line and you'd already been waiting over an hour, wouldn't it make sense to stick it out to the end? Ah, but he had a dorm thing to do, so whatever. I shouldn't presume on others. And I shouldn't remember other people to remember my birthday, just because it's my birthday. It's only a day, right? Like any other day. Does it make a difference what day someone is born or dies? The life is the important thing, right . . . But it really upsets me that B told me that Kristi sent out an e-mail so I checked my mail and she had. On *my* birthday, and all she talked about was her trip to Yosemite. Not even a line of "Happy Birthday." Damn. It makes me sad. Like last year when my own family forgot and I had to remind them. And nothing from Tuyen or Raina. I didn't expect Jeff to remember since I don't think I ever told him. Kelly remembered and actually sent me a card, (the wrong day, but still) at least she was thinking of me. (We couldn't find the card today, either, and I got yelled at for that because I didn't put it away. It turns out my mom put it away and that's why we couldn't find it . . .) Jay-oneechan remembered! And it made me supremely happy to get her e-mail! ^_^ Are you reading this, oneechan? I want to reply, but I'm going to LA through Wednesay, I think, so I'll write you a reply as soon as I get back. You too, Merritt! Don't worry about being late with a present. ^_- My mom said not to expect friends to remember your birthday. Since they're not family. But you guys really are like family, and I thank you for that. And she told me not to rely on girls, but I'm making an exception for the two of you! *Hehe* Ah, I'm feeling better now. Feeling crappy on your birthday and writing all the frustration and crappiness out helps me feel better. *inhales and exhales* I am calm now. Calm. Calm. It's all right, going by East Coast Time, my birthday was over an hour and a half ago. So anything that happens after that isn't part of my birthday and won't mar it any further, right? It's unmarrable. Though, now, I still wish he hadn't called. I'm antisocial, right? Nah, just don't like associating with people. Dogs are nice. And cats too. "A Study in Scarlet" what little I've read so far, is really fun! ^_^ (Random, random, random) Damn. I hate getting older. I chomped on a melon at Friday, June 29, 2001 10:32 p.m.
Um, Who Knew? Oh, and I forgot to mention the Parasyte movie the other day. Mike? WTF? And is there really a Fountainhead movie? I wanna see it . . . Though I suppose it would be easier to make a movie from that book than Atlas Shrugged. I love Roark loads better than Rearden (bleh)! I'm not exactly sure why, since they're, um, rather similiar, but I'm somehow convinced that Roark is much better looking and all together sweeter. 'Sides, Roark never hits Francisco! *heart* And Ragnar's just cool . . . I chomped on a melon at Friday, June 29, 2001 01:44 a.m.
Here's Hoping Today is a *GOOD* Day! Um, gonna write the SesshomaruxRin 'fic once I do more research . . . Put all Takaris on hold since they suck. Have many urges to work on "A Net Full of Stars" (It's getting complicated.). Wrote some in novels other day. All crap. Crappy crap. Unreadable cringe-inducing crap. *flails arms ineffectually and runs around* Why did my writing skill LEAVE ME?! Am going to LA on Saturday for a week or so . . . Hmmmph. Boredom here I come. Be prepared for one-shots. Am bringing Atlas and Holmes. Still hafta finish 'Tis. I am making my brother suffer. We went to the library and I borrowed tons of gawful books with my card that people call "literature" and which I was forced to read in school . . . and I'm making him read them. *Evil snicker* He read The Great Gatsby and Metamorphosis today and hated them both. Aren't I mean? It's all about the green light, baby! And beatles and apples, and yeah, lots of symbolism. Though my brother was wishing Fitzgerald made jokes about eggs. ^^;;; West Egg, East Egg. Eh. So I told him about Merritt's deal with HUEVOS! LOL. (I also talked to him about slashy relationships in Greek Mythology and managed to freak him out. *Hehe* Achilles and Patroclus . . . We got started on that from reading my old Orestes satire. Which is STILL funny and *very* twisted. Tell me why a satire with Teletubbies is funnier than one that uses lots of black humour and kills off lots of characters (and has a girl more airheaded than Kotori and "special friends" and shrewish wives)??? I don't understand . . . Mymotherisafish.) I borrowed The Complete Sherlock Holmes Volume One (Volume Two wasn't there so I don't know if they don't have it or if it's just checked out - probably the former. Our library is so terrible . . . My brother has to read Great Expectations and the library doesn't have it. About ninety-percent of the books and their editions are older than I am . . . I can't find the vast majority of what I want to read and they are seriously lacking in literature. *Sigh* In everything.) Oh, and I am quite disturbed. Holmes does cocaine and morphine. O_o;;;;; My image of him is forever shattered. You would think that I guy who develop a technique to determine if a stain is a blood stain or not could determine that mind-changing drugs are bad for you . . . *Sigh* And Watson was married twice??? Okaaaay. There go those disturbing HolmesxWatson slash thoughts. :) Oh, I didn't get to go to the Neil Gaiman signing. :( Ha! But I *DID* buy American Gods at Cody's and made B promise to get it signed for me, since he's going to summer session and all and was gonna be in town. He better not have forgotten! ^^;;;;; Eeeek! A book signed by Neil Gaiman! And I haven't even read Sandman . . . But to my credit I have read some of his short stories and liked them, and the Mononoke script was good stuff. ^_^ I don't know because he didn't e-mail me and I haven't checked uclink mail yet. Hotmail has been on the fritz the past couple of days so I dunno if Merritt or Jay wrote me yet. (I can't access it now. ^^;;;) FF.net isn't working either, darn the luck! When I can finally go and try to avoid bad CCS 'fics . . . Our grad student/old family friend finally went home today. Thank goodness! Now, he's nice, mind you, but it's hard to relax at home with guests and I couldn't stay up hideously late and I had to get up before noon, and I couldn't watch movies or anime and it was just BAD. We did go see Atlantis ('cause he really wanted to - even more than me which is a little disturbing ^^;;;;). It was a good movie, but Merritt's right, it is rather lacking in plot. Anybody else think the sub blew up a little too soon? And they got to Atlantis in what, five minutes? Atlantean spoilers ensue . . . But the opening bit was cool. It reminded me of a Godzilla movie. LOL. Oh, and I recognized Cree Summer's voice as Kida's! ^_^ From the commercials, no less. *Hehe* However, I think Atlantis was mostly a good movie because it ripped so many things off from anime. I mean, I've never seen Nadia but from what I know about it . . . *Cough cough* AtlantisisaNadiaripoff *COUGH* My brother thinks the mole guy is like someone in Escaflowne. And the engineer girl Audrey is like B'lanna Torres from Star Trek: Voyager. And haven't we seen the dome of protection thing before? And who else was wondering if Milo screamed when he got his tattoo? (Um, that was just random.) Don't you think the romance was a bit rushed - ala Mission Impossible 2? We realized that the old cook man looks like every old dude in every Disney movie, though. The guy falling down manholes in Hunchback, Jafar's disguise in Aladdin, etc. Anyways, the animation was BEAUTIFUL, though, and I liked the music . . . and the effects were lovely. Oooh, and I like the haunting bit of music that played in the um, walking on water part . . . Okay, back to other things. I'm very happy to have my house to uh, well, not quite myself, but you know, again. I guess I'm just anti-social. But that's okay, right?! ^_^ I'm less scary far away from people . . . Speaking of people and housing and whatnot, I was in Berkeley twice this week. The first time was really quick and random and the second was planned. I wanted to get in touch with Small Angel, this friend of a friend who's there right now, but my e-mail was on the fritz (Arrrrgh! Hotmaaaaaail!) and I couldn't. ^^;;; We were supposed to meet up sometime while she's there. Anyways, the first time all we did was go around and look for stuff for this grad student . . . but got nothing done since he came too early. ^^;;; It rained on Monday while we were there. -_-;;;;; We went to the mall on Tuesday instead of going to SF which was fine, except he was the only one who bought anything. Our stupid mall sucks. I wanna go to the Cupertino mall but it's TOO FAR AWAY! Oh, on Wednesday we went back to Berkeley and he went off and did stuff and I met up with B who's there taking summer classes. Unfortunately, his stupid phone will ring but not make sound so he doesn't pick it up. He doesn't have his comp with him and so doesn't have internet access. So I couldn't get in touch with him like we agreed on, so I just hoped he knew I was coming. He's living in Unit Three now. Unfortunately, I didn't know his building or room number when I came to visit so I wandered around for half an hour accousting random people entering and exiting the buildings and milling about the area demanding if they knew him. Guess what? Nobody knows him. ^^;;;; Finally, I realized that the RA's phone numbers are on the doors of the building and figured out which building he was in from his phone number. Then I tricked my way into the building and into an elevator (I don't have the dorm key. DUH.) and made my way to a floor. The WRONG floor. But by counting back from an RA's phone number to his I figured out which room and floor was his and made my way there, post-haste. Ah, deductive reasoning. I wonder if Kindaichi, Conan, or Holmes would be proud? (Somehow I see them all shaking their heads in despair at my general cluelessness . . . -_-;;;;) Anyways, then I coerced him into agreeing to get my book signed. ^_^ We dropped by my apartment and woke up my roommate and her cousin -_-;;; - Ooooops! - looked at my room, whereupon I discovered that I *DO* have a window, by Jove! (I don't understand how I managed to miss it the two previous visits . . . Especially since I was specifically looking for it the second time . . . *SIGH*) Oh, then I got him to put my fallen-down closet door back up! ^_^ Ah, it's nice to get boys to do manual labor for you! We picked up my book at Cody's, went back to his apartment, talked for a bit, then I walked him to his Dramatic Arts class and met up with the grad student and went home for lunch. Busy morning. Oh, and both of us lost the lotto. Darn it! Two numbers . . . I got TWO numbers! Ah! Meghan-san finished Icebreakers!!!! And it is good! ^_^ *Hehe* And since I only started reading it last month, I didn't have to wait anxiously for nine months like everybody else . . . Moving on to inferior fanfiction, started looking at my brother's Pokemon-X crossover. O_o;;;; Holy Moly, work on the grammar! De-lameize it . . . And bloody well STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME! I need to point out your yucky sentence structure, defective wording, corny dialogue, missing words, etc. Heh, and yes, Prima is definitely Kanoe. No need for made up Katrinas here . . . I'm happy. It's late. I'm up. I'm online. I'm finally nineteen. ^_^ I have my house back. I can sleep in tomorrow. Sluggy is funny again. All good things. I have to go to LA on Saturday. Hotmail isn't working. FF.net isn't working. My writing skill has gone on vacation. Ehhhh, it could be worse. Oh wait, the newest part of X is crap. Hmmm, so it *is* worse. Even so, it's all right. ^_^After all, it could be *me* reading "Tender is the Night." *Cackle* I chomped on a melon at Friday, June 29, 2001 12:19 a.m.
Note to Meghan (if you ever read this) Why can't I have a normal subconscious? I chomped on a melon at Sunday, June 24, 2001 04:28 p.m.
Egaaaaads! Yes, there are some good ones. But few and far between . . . The remainder are . . . *Bleck*!!!! My goal is to get to get through all (currently) 81 pages and attempt to pick out all the decent 'fics. ^^;;;; Then it's on the Digimon which will probably take me years. *Gulp* My gosh, if people aren't obsessed! ^^;;;; I REALLY wanna write that Rin and Sesshomaru 'fic now . . . Grrrrr. Fanficcing urges!!!! Too bad I'm not familiar enough with the characters. Or am I? Oh, Gods, gotta go read over IY translations again . . . Meghan-san is a sweet, dear person! ^_^ (even armed with a bloody syringe ^_^;) Thank you much! (Oh, and she writes a very sweet Fujitaka 'fic!) Oh, the party yesterday was long and pointless. The series finale of Xena was errr . . . definately not what I expected. But I'm still wondering what happened to Eve? And Michael? And Ares? Aphrodite? Argos's descendant? Moooooo!!!!! (How the heck can you write "mo" without it looking like "Moo"?? "Mow?" XD ) I think the last ep was rather deux ex machiney, not to mention that the ending left me with a really bizarre Escaflowne aftertaste. (And no, I haven't seen most of Escaflowne, but I saw the movie, and I know how the series ends, and I saw that scene in a music vid.) And is the whole Buffy thing last season like Sailormoon? Dawn is Chibi-Chibi, Glory = Galaxia, Reilly (HATE HATE) is like Seiya, Angel like Mamoru . . . and I dunno. *Heh* Didn't watch the last season of Buffy either. ^^;;;;; And Felicity. What's going to happen in Felicity?!!! NOEL!!!! Um, yeah. WTH? I don't watch TV anymore! Why am I obsessing over shows I no longer have the time to watch and haven't for a year? *Sob* Bad CCS fanfics are rotting my brain. OOOOH! My brother and I watched Kindaichi Shonen no Jikembo (The Casefiles of Young Kindaichi) on TV last night at 11:00. It replaced Kiyoshi no Densetsu, and even though Kindaichi-kun and his girlfriend (whose name I don't know) look kinda funny, it was cool! Funky in the beginning (as my brother said, and they really need work on the special effects) but the case was very cool! And very sad. But I figured out the murderer!!! (I dunno why they started at ep 10, though.) Haven't been reading Atlas. ^^;;;; We've got company coming today . . . A to-be-grad student at my college. Boy I knew when I was itty-bitty. He came to get housing for this semester. And. He. Got. It. On. The. First. Day!!!!!! DAMN!!!!!! *pout* Boys get all the luck . . . I dunno how long he's staying for, though. Oh, I wanna write a Detective Conan 'fic too, but I don't know nearly enough, so nevermind! Uh, just thought I'd throw that in there. Jay-oneechan? I'm thinking of you! I chomped on a melon at Sunday, June 24, 2001 03:59 p.m.
Check Your Premises Um, figured I'd better blog to fill up space on this layout. I've gotta go to bed before five tonight so I can talk to Merritt on the phone tomorrow. I'll try to be asleep by three. It's weird, the birds in Berkeley start chirping at around 4:00 before the sun's up and they're as annoying as hell, but the birds here start singing at 5:00-5:30ish when the light is just breaking blue . . . and they're really pretty. ^_^ My dad's having his stupid party tomorrow. ^^;;; I maybe have to babysit the two kids who, I am informed, are pretty damn annoying. I'm actually listening to the radio now. O_o;;;; Haven't down *that* in a while! 'Bout a year. I used to be a radio junkie. I miss Delilah (the radio show). I also watched most of a Real World ep today. Don't watch it usually. Some Real World Seattle, not much else, but I was flipping thru channels and saw it today. So I watched. Heh, "Surreal World" got me to watch Real World. Haven't watched MTV in 'bout a year either, since Berkeley doesn't have that channel in the dorms and I don't have much interest. My Takaris are going nowhere. All I can come up with is abject stupidity. Wrote a lil' in "Night Life" today, 'cause the whole group dynamic is something I find amusing. This one's gonna take a while to write. It's hard. Wrote a lil' in "A Net of Stars" too, and that was good. ^_^ I read the Prologue of Tin's "Miracle Merchant" since none of the other links are working. Weird stuff. But good. ^_^ Oh, I wanna write a RinxSesshomaru 'fic. ^_^ 'Twill be short. Maybe two parts like "LiaT." Did I mention that I LOVE watermelon? Just FYI. I wanna hear from Jay-chan. I'm a lil' worried. So if I have time tomorrow I might e-mail her. Oh, and I still have to e-mail everyone else. *Sigh* Oh, I will be in LA sometime next week, I think Saturday, after my birthday, as my parents start the great house search anew. ^^;;; Boredom, here I come! I might come back with more random fanfics written, though. They're making a CGI Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie with John Woo as the director. O_o;;; Eh, can't think of anything else to write. I chomped on a melon at Friday, June 22, 2001 11:22 p.m.
Watermelon, O, Watermelon I am experimenting with my new layout now. *Smirk* I chomped on a melon at Friday, June 22, 2001 02:42 a.m. |
Aliases: Fushigi Kismet, Fushigi, Kismet, 'Shigi Hershey, Fizzy, Diana, Veta, Pallas Moon, Kiki, Nus, etc.
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